let go and hold on

today i was struck by the thought that every single person on this planet is doing their best to grasp control of their life in some way or another.
specifically, most conflicts that come up in my classroom happen because my kids want to be in control just as much as i do.
i'm tired of having the same ever living struggle with them! why won't they just accept the fact that they're kids, there's nothing they can do about that fact, and they're not going to be in control until they're not kids anymore!
dagnabit.

it's possible god says a similar thing about me. i'm sure he says it in a much more godly way though and i doubt he says 'dagnabit'.

the inevitable cycle of ordering our world the way we want it to be ordered seems a common denominator for most humans.
i wonder what it's like to just surrender control, in every single part of me.
how do i surrender the part of me...
...that wants to eat ice cream for breakfast?
...that makes horrible financial choices on a regular basis?
...that relates to people unlovingly?
...that is strongly discontented with teaching art to crazy little hooligans?
...that wants to be a wife and mother more than anything else?

i was talking to a friend named nick yesterday about expectations and desires and whatnot... it got me to thinking, what does it really look like to let go of expectations in my life but still hold on to hope? most of the time, i'm expecting something to definitely happen, and if it doesn't, i'm getting jipped. (obviously. i should get what i want.)
holding on to hope, on the other hand, is recognizing the good desires behind the expectation, knowing they come from god, and trusting his goodness to provide what he knows is beneficial for me, whatever that may or may not include.

so in the list of things i wish i could surrender, the desires behind those control struggles are something like this:
...i desire good flavors
...i desire wisdom, along with strength of character to act on that wisdom
...i desire to love and be loved
...i desire a sense of purpose

the part i'm stuck on though is, yes, god created those desires and they're good desires. but what do we honestly do when he chooses not to fulfill them? how do we really hold on to the hope of his good character when evidence seems to point in an opposite direction?
is that just a job for the holy spirit, or am i missing something i should be knowing here?