home!

even though it was wonderful being with family for christmas, i was so happy to come home! i missed my homestead girls, my kids i've basically adopted (some call it babysitting...), and even my classroom. i came in today to catch up on some things only to find out the heater's broken... arg. but i'm still happy to be home.


i made them little hats for christmas which make them even cuter, of course. if i ever have kids they're going to be thoroughly hatted, possibly more than they might enjoy :-)


yesterday erica and i went for a little hike down the most beautiful trail and of course the new camera was very handy -- even survived a little dip in the creek! haha. at least i know it's sturdy, eh?



imagine crossing the space between the camera and where i am in 10 seconds without falling headlong into the creek -- it was tricky. we didn't quite get it together, but at least i didn't break a leg.

christmas in georgia

it's almost 2007!! can you believe it?
before new year's hits, i figured i'd catch up on christmas. there's nothing worse than out-of-date updates, i tell you what. but be forewarned, this post is not for the faint of heart -- only dedicated readers should sign up for this one... it might take you a while! :-)

after 10 bum-numbing hours in my trusty toyota...

...i spent christmas week in tunnel hill, georgia, with my parents, aunt robin, younger brother zac, his wife alyssa, and their baby brayden.

this was my first time to meet brady, and i must say, it was worth the wait -- he's so precious!!

i was very close to bringing him home with me. fortunately for his parents he developed a royal case of the stinky diaper disease right when i was packing him up.
needless to say, he stayed.

i thoroughly enjoyed spending some great quality time with alyssa and brady...


...and watching my little brother being a husband, daddy, and firefighter was just amazing. i'm so proud of him. i realize he's almost 24, but somehow i can't get rid of that mental image of the 12 year old i remember. poor feller. he's doomed.

the actual christmas days were the most present-filled of my life! the most exciting for me was a new little digital camera! those of you following the saga of the stolen camera will rejoice with me at the resurrection of the photographer in me. expect many pictures in the forthcoming future.
because of our family's fun tradition of documenting every single person's reaction to every single present they open, it took us about 2 1/2 hours to get through the pile, but we did indeed make it through, and were very pleased with each other for days to come. i love how presents reflect what the person thinks and feels about you, and that tangible object reminds you forever after of their love for you. it's possible i'm a sentimentalist.





after the present marathon i tried out my new camera on all willing participants. even though mom had a bit of the flu hanging on, it was really great to have time with her and dad, along with aunt robin who came over from atlanta. we don't get together very often, so it was a real treat.





and thus concludes my christmas compilation. i hope you all had just as wonderfully merry and family-filled days, wherever you may be.

let go and hold on

today i was struck by the thought that every single person on this planet is doing their best to grasp control of their life in some way or another.
specifically, most conflicts that come up in my classroom happen because my kids want to be in control just as much as i do.
i'm tired of having the same ever living struggle with them! why won't they just accept the fact that they're kids, there's nothing they can do about that fact, and they're not going to be in control until they're not kids anymore!
dagnabit.

it's possible god says a similar thing about me. i'm sure he says it in a much more godly way though and i doubt he says 'dagnabit'.

the inevitable cycle of ordering our world the way we want it to be ordered seems a common denominator for most humans.
i wonder what it's like to just surrender control, in every single part of me.
how do i surrender the part of me...
...that wants to eat ice cream for breakfast?
...that makes horrible financial choices on a regular basis?
...that relates to people unlovingly?
...that is strongly discontented with teaching art to crazy little hooligans?
...that wants to be a wife and mother more than anything else?

i was talking to a friend named nick yesterday about expectations and desires and whatnot... it got me to thinking, what does it really look like to let go of expectations in my life but still hold on to hope? most of the time, i'm expecting something to definitely happen, and if it doesn't, i'm getting jipped. (obviously. i should get what i want.)
holding on to hope, on the other hand, is recognizing the good desires behind the expectation, knowing they come from god, and trusting his goodness to provide what he knows is beneficial for me, whatever that may or may not include.

so in the list of things i wish i could surrender, the desires behind those control struggles are something like this:
...i desire good flavors
...i desire wisdom, along with strength of character to act on that wisdom
...i desire to love and be loved
...i desire a sense of purpose

the part i'm stuck on though is, yes, god created those desires and they're good desires. but what do we honestly do when he chooses not to fulfill them? how do we really hold on to the hope of his good character when evidence seems to point in an opposite direction?
is that just a job for the holy spirit, or am i missing something i should be knowing here?

some cute kids

i found this random cd of pictures and these were just too cute to enjoy alone -- especially dryer boy ryan. and i love how peter, kira, & krista at the ocean look so happy and like they love each other.
it's good to have cute nieces and nephews. too bad they're 14 hours away!!

love

loving people live in a loving world.
hostile people live in a hostile world.
same world.
--wayne dyer


love is patient
love is kind
it does not envy
it does not boast
it is not proud
it is not rude
it is not self-seeking
it is not easily angered
it keeps no record of wrongs
love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth
it always protects
always trusts
always hopes
always perseveres
love never fails
... now i know in part
then i shall know fully
even as i am fully known...
-- 1 cor. 13


i over-analyzed every possible course of action that i should embark on after my horrible day yesterday... i ended up with thinking i needed to figure out a harsher/more creative consequence for all my miscreants since what i'm doing isn't working... or maybe i needed to figure out a way of talking or acting that would 'get through to them' better...
as i was driving to work this morning, after a day of over-analyzing my brain into a tizzy, a slip of paper that i keep in my visor with that part of 1 cor. 13 written on it literally fell in my lap, if you can believe it :-)
when it comes right down to it, the answer is so simple -- love.

it's my attitude and heart -- am i loving?

i talked to my 3rd hour class about that and we had such a good conversation.
it seems to takes a crisis for me to realize the depth of my need for a solution. then the whole crisis is turned around when i apply that appropriate solution.

the idea in that first quote is so great -- if i'm a loving person, the world i live in is a loving world... it's so much about perspective and attitude. granted, if i act lovingly, it doesn't change all the truly degraded actions/people/cities/ethical dilemmas that never go away...
but personally, if i act lovingly i'm creating a world of love around me in my thoughts and the people i interact with... which eventually someday just might affect all that degradedness.

today's a day that i hate being a teacher.

book report for the day

i've found a new favorite author.

i just finished reading 'villette' by charlotte bronte, and she has redefined the reading experience for me!
i highly recommend that you give her a shot. i was a bit skeptical at first -- it's hit and miss with the classics for me, but after a few chapters i was sold.

the whole cool thing about her writing is that she weaves words and sentences and paragraphs into this hypnotic trance-like feeling of what she's expressing... you don't necessarily have to pay attention to each word even, once she gets on a role you just flow into the grand ocean of the mood she's creating.
granted, that's not the case on every single page, but every 20 pages or so she goes into this mode of writing that goes around, in, through and above the idea she's wanting to communicate, so you are completely immersed and engulfed in her world.

i love it.
of course it appeals to the female persuasion more than male, proven by the line at the end that shall be henceforth and forevermore my favorite quote...

'Lucy, take my love. One day share my life. Be my dearest, first on earth.'

it's not really the same without the surrounding context, but when i read that line i remember the context, so it's all good.
on to jane eyre. that's the famous one, so maybe it'll be even more amazing!

have a great weekend, people.

we were not born to survive
only to live.

from 'the river of bees' by w.s. merwin