hurray!

(who do you suppose makes these little fellers? 'hello, my name is so and so and i make little weather graphics for a living...')

it's raining buckets outside, the knowledgeable people on tv say it will soon be freezing into slick buckets, and we have 2 days off school, then the weekend!!
i'm very pleased at the moment.

so far i've caught up on my charlotte bronte, anne lamott, and martha stewart... it was a deliciously enjoyable morning.

the next few days, i plan on doing some grading, baking some cookies, shrinking some wool sweaters to make felty christmas presents (martha's a genius!), and decorating my house for christmas!
yes.

on a less elated note, here's my niece alex, nephew drew, and funny dad (think 'where's waldo' in the leaves)... they spent thanksgiving together in georgia.

and can i just say, thank you to all you wonderfully affirming commenters! i've never felt more attractive after all your complimentary little boosts!
to be honest, it's all in the eye shadow. i've discovered the fun that can happen just by sprucing up the ole peepers...

(why do i write things i'd never say in real life!? who says 'peepers'?!!)

here's hoping you get some of our horridly nasty weather to share in the fun!

family fun in the fall :-)

well the much-anticipated answer to the question is finally being addressed, 9 days later!
i like to build up the suspense and then let it fizzle out so no one's interested anymore, THEN tell you.
there's less pressure that way.

i took your advice and went to alpena, arkansas, to hang out with the hamm family. they live on a horse ranch out in the lovely woods. despite the fallish brown-ness, it was very pretty and relaxing. we've had an inordinate amount of rain lately, and then a couple of sunny days, so it was greener than i anticipated for late november.
we had the typical good food and thanksgiving sort of things happened... andrew gave me a haircut with his plastic scissors, then gave me a buzz with a plastic dentist tool of some sort. that was the highlight. oh, i watched 'it's a wonderful life' for the first time! i've seen the last 10 minutes a few times, but never seen the first 80 minutes. i really like jimmy stewart. now i know what all the fuss is about.
after dinner we went for the traditional walk, of course.


































friday morning we went horseriding in the perfectly sunny weather -- that was the best part by far.
then i was able to liesurely drive home and spend saturday preparing for a birthday dinner for my friend drea. it's amazing how much time and effort went into it! it was pretty tasty in the end, so well worth the effort. drea got a fondue pot for one of her presents, so we had fondue for the appetizer, then cranberry walnut apple salad, indonesian peanut chicken, risotto, japanese style green beans, and a mixed berry lemon tart a la mode for dessert.
we dressed up the table all fancy and drea also had new crystal goblets that we used along with candlesticks and real cloth napkins... oh, and WE dressed up all fancy, too... it was all so fun and pretty! it'd be fun to eat like that every night.
i can see the attraction of having cooks and butlers.

now there's just 3 weeks left until christmas break!! i love this time of year mostly for the frequent breaks from work. it makes me appreciate my kids and my classes more, being away from them :-)

what to do?

i'm in a paralysis of indecision... do you ever get so many options that they cause you to be completely incapable of deciding what you're actually going to do?
i do, and am.

the topic is thanksgiving, and the options are three-fold.

option #1: drive to denver, colorado, hang out with my oldest brother dan, his wife cari & their kids, maybe go to garden of the gods, spend a long time in the car, pay lots of mula for gas, but see people and do things that i'm very keen on seeing and doing.




option #2: go to texas with erica & drea -- fried turkey is the biggest draw there, but no gas expenses.







option #3: go to alpena, arkansas, where my surrogate family (the hamms) own a horse ranch, spend some q.t. (quality time, that is) with good friends, then come back home and have a few days of fun little projects around the house.

if the lord speaks a prophetic word to you of what i should do, let me know, would you?
thanks.

in case you're wondering how i'm suddenly finding pictures without a camera to help me find them, i borrowed the band teacher's camera -- he happens to have two, and the one i borrowed is exactly like the one i had that was stolen! i love it so.
alas, i must return it eventually.

i was encouraged to put more pictures of me on my blog, since it's my blog and all. so i took this really glowy one for your enjoyment.
it's hard to include pictures of yourself on your own blog without just taking pictures of yourself, which usually results in unnatural situations and strange positions.
like laying on the counter.
but i'm willing to do these sort of things for you people.

i am now going to go take a picture of myself doing what i'm going to be doing in 10 seconds -- painting more big gray stones for our castle!
yes!
it's only 8:00 -- the night is still young..
i should have brought my sleeping bag and pillow.

busy little workers

don't they look like they're having fun?! truth is, they're not. almost all of my students are as tired of medieval as i am.

the exciting part is, we'll be done on thursday!!! we're having parties in every single class on friday :-)

those big pieces of paper they're painting gray -- they've made about 60 of them and they're supposed to be giant stones that we've been taping to the cafeteria walls to create the illusion of castle walls. i'll take pictures of the final product for your viewing pleasure. that is, if we do indeed finish!
the jury's still out on that one.

so long, kitties

the sad news of the day is that i had to get rid of my kitties... i'm still pretty sad about it, and have 3 scratches on my hands from the process that i probably deserve -- abandoning them like i did. they've been good kitties. i originally adopted them from the college campus -- there are cats galore out there and always a new batch of kittens hanging around. sophie and maddie are sisters and i brought them home when they were just wee little things. now they're full-grown, sleek, beautiful, and not very house-trained. that, combined with my roomates' allergies to cats meant they had to go.
i took them back to campus and let them rejoin their long-lost feline tribe.
i still have one cat that i adopted from a friend who moved to ohio. i don't think she would do too well with a feline tribe, so i'm looking for a home for her. she's banished to the out-of-doors for now.
i feel like a bad person.
it's for the best, i'm sure.
for all people who don't love cats, i know this sounds a bit over-dramatic, but it is what it is and i am what i am :-)

the quote for the day, totally unrelated to cats:

'power affects behavior, love affects the heart.'
(brennan manning)

i wrote it on my hand today as a reminder to not engage in the power struggles that my students seem to enjoy so much. i want to be looking for ways to show them love, not claim the upper hand.

look at this super cool post -- it's fun to see the far flung reaches of the world the body of christ extends to...

w.s. merwin writes:

listen
with the night falling we are saying thank you
we are stopping on the bridge to bow from the railings
we are running out of the glass rooms
with our mouths full of food to look at the sky
and say thank you
we are standing by the water looking out
in different directions

back from a series of hospitals back from a mugging
after funerals we are saying thank you
after the news of the dead
whether or not we knew them we are saying thank you
in a culture up to its chin in shame
living in the stench it has chosen we are saying thank you

over telephones we are saying thank you
in doorways and in the backs of cars and in elevators
remembering wars and the police at the back door
and the beatings on stairs we are saying thank you
with the crooks in office with the rich and fashionable
unchanged we go on saying thank you thank you

with the animals dying around us
our lost feelings we are saying thank you
with the forests falling faster than the minutes
of our lives we are saying thank you
with the words going out like cells of a brain
with the cities growing over us like the earth
we are saying thank you faster and faster
with nobody listening we are saying thank you
we are saying thank you and waving
dark though it is


the feeling of this poem has stayed with me since i first read it last week -- it's creeped it's way into my heart and won't leave. the idea that there's so much crap in the world, everywhere, it's all you see, but something is pulling us out of the middle of it, making us forget it and look up and be amazed, without even knowing how or why, despite ourselves, all we can do is be amazed.
i know what that something is in clear-cut words and ideas, but by saying those words sometimes the mystery is lost, the amazing mystical power that is our god, who pulls and draws our hearts beyond our understanding, lifting us up out of this crap. Despite our best intentions to despair, he causes us to be thankful.

i especially love the line 'unchanged we go on saying thank you thank you'...

there's a thought from a book i don't remember the name of that goes along with this idea. something along the lines of, 'god has not promised to protect our circumstances. he has promised to preserve the life of his spirit in us.' that's probably so far off the actual quote that i'll soon be getting sued, but that's been a key thought in my growth process this last year. god is the same god regardless of our circumstances or life experiences, and he preserves his life in us through them all.
'unchanged we go on saying thank you thank you.'

free music friday

pretty self-explanatory...

here's the classroom of which i speak... and me, of which i also speak.

my kids keep badgering me to let them repaint the walls. the one and only idea they have is to cover the floor and furniture with plastic and just splatter/throw/spray/shoot paint everywhere.
they just won't let it go.
maybe the day before i quit/die/retire, i might let them.
and now i must leave/go/drive away to my home...
have a great weekend everyone!

progress

'personal growth happens the minute you begin pushing through hardships.'

it was much more articulate than that, of course, but this idea i read in a magazine the other day was like my thoughts, put in print on the page.
after writing about how tough my classroom has been lately, then having a really great conversation with erica along the same lines, i began to get a better mental handle on some of the root issues. awareness really is half the battle. as soon as i was able to have a bit of understanding of myself, my students, and the whole dynamic of my classroom, i saw so much more clearly how to respond.
for example, a main issue i was able to pinpoint was how much of a responsibility it is for the teacher to set the tone for the classroom. all the secondary problems that crop up with my kids -- disrespect or misbehavior -- along with the frustrations i might be feeling are pretty much directly related to what tone i've set since the minute class begins.
so yesterday i started out with a calm tone of voice, asking for their attention, then waiting for them to all be quiet -- then quietly explaining the day's work and my expectations of them... and they were amazing! they listened the entire time i was talking, then they actually were normal, all class long. i was so happy.

it made me feel very grateful for the father's gentle, yet consistent working in my heart and mind and understanding.

there were several other examples of things i've been figuring out and putting into practice, and over all, i've just been in a much more contented frame of mind.
i still have a tiny germ of an idea that i won't be an art teacher for the rest of my life, but for now, teaching is a good place to be in.

thanks for the encouraging words, from those of you who cared.