progress

'personal growth happens the minute you begin pushing through hardships.'

it was much more articulate than that, of course, but this idea i read in a magazine the other day was like my thoughts, put in print on the page.
after writing about how tough my classroom has been lately, then having a really great conversation with erica along the same lines, i began to get a better mental handle on some of the root issues. awareness really is half the battle. as soon as i was able to have a bit of understanding of myself, my students, and the whole dynamic of my classroom, i saw so much more clearly how to respond.
for example, a main issue i was able to pinpoint was how much of a responsibility it is for the teacher to set the tone for the classroom. all the secondary problems that crop up with my kids -- disrespect or misbehavior -- along with the frustrations i might be feeling are pretty much directly related to what tone i've set since the minute class begins.
so yesterday i started out with a calm tone of voice, asking for their attention, then waiting for them to all be quiet -- then quietly explaining the day's work and my expectations of them... and they were amazing! they listened the entire time i was talking, then they actually were normal, all class long. i was so happy.

it made me feel very grateful for the father's gentle, yet consistent working in my heart and mind and understanding.

there were several other examples of things i've been figuring out and putting into practice, and over all, i've just been in a much more contented frame of mind.
i still have a tiny germ of an idea that i won't be an art teacher for the rest of my life, but for now, teaching is a good place to be in.

thanks for the encouraging words, from those of you who cared.